Alley Cats forever~

Yesterday, it was very rainy as I was waiting in the long line of cars to pick the kids up from school.  As I sat there, I noticed a little boy eagerly watching a small piece of paper that was floating in the water alongside the curb.  The water was flowing pretty quickly and I could tell he was getting excited about the ride this little vessel was taking.  His didn't take his eyes off of that piece of paper.  I'm sure in his mind it was a fishing boat or a whale or something completely fantastic, and he was watching intently as it battled the ripples it encountered on its journey.  Just as the cars ahead of me began to move forward, that little piece of paper disappeared quickly down the rain gutter and the smile on that little boys face stretched from one ear to the other.  Sheer joy! 

This scene took me back...back to the house on 11th street where my sister and I and our best childhood friends spent countless hours outside, in the fresh air, up and down the alley, playing make-believe.  Our parents trusted us to the outdoors, without supervision, and we were easily transformed into worlds that only existed in our minds.  We climbed trees, made mud pies, built forts, waded through puddles, nursed wounded animals, and practiced cartwheels until our knees hurt.  We were free!  Parents nowadays must find creative ways to give this "freedom" to their children.  Gone are the days when you can allow your children to run around the neighborhood until you call them in for dinner.  But that doesn't mean that the wonder of make-believe has to cease to exist.  Turn off the TV, put the video games away, log off the computer, refrain from signing them up for every team sport, and just let your children have time to pretend.  Allow them time without structure.  It brings me a huge sense of pleasure to watch my children making things up; having endless conversations about things that don't really exist.  Give your children the time and space they need to explore their imagination and you will help them create some of the best childhood memories they will ever have.  Now go outside...I think it's raining. :)

If you can't say something nice...

No one has had more influence on my ability to parent my children than my mother, and I celebrate and honor her today, on her birthday!  My mother taught us to be nice.  That sounds so cliche'..."be nice", but it became the standard my siblings and I lived by and still live by today.  Being nice isn't always easy, but it is always right.  It allows you to be patient, tolerant, obedient.  It help you to understand others, to consider their feelings and to give freely and joyfully.  It calms a tempered spirit and brings peace to situations that could otherwise turn ugly.  Being nice has a way of bringing out the good in others, even when they have fallen short of being good.  It comforts and heals even those humiliated by their own words or actions.  At times, it may allow others to walk all over you, but know that the kindness you show may be the only thing holding them up!  Thank you, mother, for teaching me to be nice...for giving me this gift to pass on to my own children.  You are my hero, today and always!   

Three cheers for the two "C's"!

Hip hip horray, hip hip horray, hip hip horray!  I'm having to sing the praises of my two little ones today.  Carter is the 'Terrific Texan' in his first grade class this week and Cameron is receiving an award on Thursday for exhibiting 'Loyalty and Fairness' with her kindergarten classmates.  Although they are not always on their best behavior at home, in their comfort zone, I am so proud that when they are in public, they typically behave in ways that get positive recognition.  Nothing motivates a child to continue to act appropriately more than being praised for appropriate behavior, and I appreciate the schools for making praise a regular part of their school experience.  I am a proud mom!

Celebrate your Masterpiece!

I painted a work of art this past Saturday night!  I had never taken a formal painting class before, I had no idea what to expect, but I jumped right in and gave it my all.  And you know what?  I think I did a pretty good job.  Yes, there were others who probably had better shadowing, and maybe their water looked a little more realistic than mine, but my stars and moon rocked!  As it is with anything in life, it doesn't matter how good you are at something, as long as you give it your very best effort.  NONE of us are well-rehearsed in parenting before it happens.  You don't get a trial run before it's your turn to parent, and you better believe there will be parts of being a parent that others do better than you.  On the other hand, there will be areas where you tend to do better than most.  It is the constantly evolving, learning experience that helps us craft our "masterpiece" of parenting.  Consider the word, masterpiece.  It's not called a master-whole, it's a master-piece.  You craft your ability to parent, one piece at a time, putting together the things that work and trying to weed out the things that don't.  You learn from your mistakes, correct yourself when you take a wrong turn, and consider every failure a new opportunity to give it another try.  Don't expect perfection...it will only lead to disappointment.  Instead, strive to be the best you can be, understand there will be times you fail, but even with its imperfections, learn to embrace YOUR masterpiece!

Take time to stop and "hear" the roses!

I find the more I listen to my teenage girls (and the less I talk), the more they are willing to tell me.  I used to think it was a good idea to stop them mid-sentence when they would go on and on with the "drama" of the day, but I found that by saying less, I'm contributing more to their self-worth and their sense of accomplishment.  Sounds silly...how can you have any impact at all if you're not saying anything?  But the bottom line is that they don't always need you to say a word other than, "Wow, I'm really sorry that happened" or "Sounds like you've had a rough day" or even "I'm really proud of how you handled that".  They don't need you to fix it, they don't want to know how you would have handled it, they just need to know that you heard what they said and that you value their feelings.  You may think whatever they're going through isn't important in the great scheme of things, but in their world, at that particular moment in time, it's all that matters. :)

Get Real

My two youngest children were ages 2 & 3 at the time, and my mother was driving them to my hometown for a weekend visit.  The sun was beginning to set and my mother made a comment about how the sun was "going to bed".  My son, who was 3, promptly replied with a correction to her statement, "The sun isn't going to bed Gigi, it is going to give light to the other side of the Earth".  When our children are curious about things, we pretty much give them the straight truth, especially if it's something that will help their understanding later on.  Why not start teaching it when they first ask?  They wouldn't be asking if they didn't want a real answer.  So when they want to know something as simple as why the grass doesn't blow away, go ahead and tell them about the roots instead of making something up.  They'll find wonder and amazement in this new discovery and they will definitely make a connection they can build upon later.  But don't worry, you will still find plenty of imagination in our home.  We all still believe in Santa Clause, we make wishes on falling stars, and I know that if we could only find some pixie dust, our happy thoughts would make us fly!

Taking the first step!

As it is with a child who is learning to walk, the first step is always the hardest. Well tonight, I have taken that long-awaited first step. My desire to write with a purpose began long ago, and I only hope that the words you will find here in the coming days will join you in your quest to become the best parent you can be. That is my only desire...to walk with you through life's toughest, most rewarding job ever. You don't have to be a mom or dad to read my blog. You don't even have to have children of your own. I will say, up front, that I do NOT have all the answers, but if you love kids, work with kids, desire to have kids or find yourself at your wit's end with your kids, I certainly hope I can help!

Let the journey begin...